Reclaiming Loss
An Inaugural Post
I’ve spent a significant amount of time ruminating on this concept lately. And as I write this, I’m not referring to loss brought on by a passing, by trauma or by violence. The loss I am speaking of is more esoteric in nature—the heartbreak we may feel when we don’t get the job, when a relationship doesn’t pan out, or whenever we may be struggling to hold onto hope.
Recently, in my own life, loss has been a key player. Friendships have shifted and bent (and some have broken). Dreams have been realized, attained, and then swiftly terraformed into the silhouettes of something unfamiliar. Love came and went and left me in a fog.
Perhaps these are all just casualties wrought by the first year of my Saturn return; occupational hazards summoned as I endeavored to grow deeper into myself in 2023. Nevertheless, it’s all guided me to find new ways of conceptualizing loss. And recently, something came into my awareness that I have latched onto and want to share with others:
There is no such thing as loss. Not really. There is only alignment and realignment.
Again, this cannot be measured against the very-real pain of grief and trauma. That being said, it is my belief that on the other side of every heartbreak lies an opportunity for expansion.
It is human nature to sustain. To hold on—to ideals, to habits, to relationships, even when they’re no longer serving us. When we put time, energy, love and resources into something, we want to see it returned to us. If we devote so much of ourselves to a singular idea, person or pursuit, to see it all crumble might cause us to feel shaken at best, depleted at worst.
But what happens when we turn our pain over to a higher sense of trust? What happens when we surrender?
The Universe, God, or however you’d like to identify that ever-present, interconnecting Energy is constantly moving through and molding us to meet the invitations of a higher call. Through the lens of a human perspective, we may not always have the tools or abilities to understand that call. And it usually isn’t our responsibility to. Consistently, our only duty is to accept what we cannot change, and bid farewell to what was never truly meant for us.
When we internalize this, we understand that life moves and takes form around us according to what we must learn in order to evolve. We understand that the path of least resistance (and the act of surrender) leads us to gratitude and peace. And with this, we know that “loss” is a construct. If life exists to guide us towards self-actualization, how can we possibly “lose?” We can only gain what is truly meant for us.
As a mythology buff, one of my favorite stories from the Greek pantheon is the tale of Hades and Persephone. The Goddess of Spring, wedded to the Lord of Death. I’ve always secretly identified with Persephone; I feel as though I’ve been living out Her archetype in some way, shape or fashion since the days of my childhood. And when I ruminate on Her story, I’m always moved by the way it implores its students to examine the relationship between life and death. Between sunrise and nightfall, love and destruction.
Alignment and realignment.
One must always follow the other, and eventually, the other will always cycle back to the one. It’s a beautiful thing—the courtship between sunrise and nightfall, madly in love, chasing each other to the ends of the earth and back again.
In order to reclaim loss and lay the framework for our own contentment, we must allow their love affair—which is bigger than us, older than us, and will remain long after we have left—to unfold, trusting that It knows better than we do.
Somewhere along the way, we can only find and know deeper fulfillment. We can only come into greater alignment with ourselves.
And Now, Some Updates…
My debut chapbook about desire, love and magic, “A Throat Full of Forest-Dirt,” is out and available to order NOW through Bottlecap Press! Stuff some stockings! Impress your friends!
A few weeks ago, I made an appearance on the diVERSES Poetry livestream to chat with Geoff about the book and all things poetry! It was such a fun time, and you should definitely give it a listen the next time you’re on the way to work or hanging out in a coffee shop :)
Speaking of podcasts—join me this Wednesday, Dec. 6th, from 3-4pm PST on Jongluer Radio, where I’ll be chatting about the book and more on the “Casual Hang with Sweet Lang” show
Finally, if you’ll be in the Los Angeles/Culver City area the weekend of Dec. 16th-17th, come hang out with me at the Village Well Holiday Market, where I’ll be vibing and selling copies of “Forest-Dirt.” Would love to meet you and say hi :)
And that’s all I’ve got for now! Be well!
- Bri :)
Loved the poetry in this and the message! It made me think about my loss too- in a good contemplative way.