A quick note on language: I use she/her pronouns here when speaking broadly about femininity, but this piece is meant for anyone who resonates with those experiences, regardless of gender.
Such a powerful piece. Thank you. So much of our experience as women is watered down to be more palatable to those around us. The fact that femininity can only be associated with softness and nurturing is such a farce. We are the embodiment of life, death, and rebirth. Which is a full spectrum of emotions and experiences. Thank you for sharing this, Bri.
Yes. Womanhood/femininity is rich and complex and we deserve to be given greater space to explore and claim ownership of that. Iām so happy that this spoke to you. Thank you for reading š¤
This was really insightful and elucidating to read. Thereās much that Iām not qualified to really comment on so Iāll just comment on an aspect of this that I do have some knowledge of and experience with. The descriptions show a depth of understanding of serious trauma, psychology, and mental health. Itās a very serious topic, and one thing Iāve learned from reading these kinds of things is that we men often donāt realize just how much women have to put up with.
I appreciate your comment. Iāve been on a journey of trying to find stability in my own mental health for a few years now, so itās interesting to hear that that translates in the writing. Womanhood definitely presents a set of unique challenges (particularly in how much projection is tied up in it), but sometimes I canāt help but wonder if men encounter that sense of being āseen but not seenā within patriarchy, as wellālike if itās kind of universal to the systems we live under. Thanks for reading :)
Until reading a bit about feminism and how it can be beneficial to (women of course but also) men too, I hadn't really connected the dots of this problem to patriarchy: The problem of being a man who doesn't fit the typical convention of 'masculinity'. So it varies depending on the individual, but speaking to my own experience, sometimes i feel insecure about expressing myself. One time my nails were painted, just for fun, and not long after a woman told me something like "you're a man, and shouldn't bring shame on yourself by doing something like that." I didn't take it personally, because she obviously had those views that came from her upbringing, and i just feel sad about how widespread these cultural problems are. Right now im trying to just learn more, and reading a lot. Do you have any book recommendations?
Aw man, Iām so sorry to hear you had that experience. I think patriarchy can be enforced by any and all genders who havenāt done the deconstruction work yet, and I find it so upsetting when people actively attempt to shame or silence men who are trying to break out of that cycle and quite literally just be themselves. In terms of recommendations, I think āThe Will to Changeā by bell hooks is a great read. She specifically discusses the ways in which men suffer under patriarchy, and potential pathways towards freedom from that. You might vibe with it :)
I felt bile burn my stomach here: āWhatever scares you, whatever gives you pause, whatever drums up that feeling of oh-shit-no-wait-I-canāt-actually-do-this inside of you is the key to your liberationāit helps you push back against the insecurities the Void has instilled in us since we were children.ā
I took up a task today, to explore a new art form, something complicated. The second I started I heard the exact sentence āoh-shit-no-wait-I-canāt-actually-do-thisā. Thank you for pulling me back to me. This task is exactly what I need to be doing. Bless you, bless you.
Oh goodness, this moved me so deeply. Thank you for sharing this with me, and for reading. I am so happy to hear that it offered you something you were able to take with you š„¹ā„ļø
As a trans femme who has been feeling much of the pain you describe and struggling to make sense of the daily existential fight to exist, thank you. This was really helpful and your principles eloquently articulate much of what I've been struggling to express.
"So, without my consent, Iāve also been tasked with taking up the mantle of an exorcist. Regularly, the worldās shadow finds its way to me when Iām not looking, demanding release or alchemy."
... ma'am this had me in a choke --- hold --- period. Thank you. Instant subscribe.
Basically my idea is that a descent Journey into the repressed feminine is can be a remedy (there are many paths to healing! I love the ones you put here) - integrating the cast-out, oppressed-and-then-repressed aspects of our feminine selves. Curious your thoughts.
Such a powerful piece. Thank you. So much of our experience as women is watered down to be more palatable to those around us. The fact that femininity can only be associated with softness and nurturing is such a farce. We are the embodiment of life, death, and rebirth. Which is a full spectrum of emotions and experiences. Thank you for sharing this, Bri.
Yes. Womanhood/femininity is rich and complex and we deserve to be given greater space to explore and claim ownership of that. Iām so happy that this spoke to you. Thank you for reading š¤
Yes, I believe that we're hearing the call of our souls and dampening the void as a result. Thank you for this.
Of course! Thank you for reading āŗļø
This was very well written. Thank you for sharing this!
I appreciate that, thank you for reading šš½š
This was really insightful and elucidating to read. Thereās much that Iām not qualified to really comment on so Iāll just comment on an aspect of this that I do have some knowledge of and experience with. The descriptions show a depth of understanding of serious trauma, psychology, and mental health. Itās a very serious topic, and one thing Iāve learned from reading these kinds of things is that we men often donāt realize just how much women have to put up with.
I appreciate your comment. Iāve been on a journey of trying to find stability in my own mental health for a few years now, so itās interesting to hear that that translates in the writing. Womanhood definitely presents a set of unique challenges (particularly in how much projection is tied up in it), but sometimes I canāt help but wonder if men encounter that sense of being āseen but not seenā within patriarchy, as wellālike if itās kind of universal to the systems we live under. Thanks for reading :)
Until reading a bit about feminism and how it can be beneficial to (women of course but also) men too, I hadn't really connected the dots of this problem to patriarchy: The problem of being a man who doesn't fit the typical convention of 'masculinity'. So it varies depending on the individual, but speaking to my own experience, sometimes i feel insecure about expressing myself. One time my nails were painted, just for fun, and not long after a woman told me something like "you're a man, and shouldn't bring shame on yourself by doing something like that." I didn't take it personally, because she obviously had those views that came from her upbringing, and i just feel sad about how widespread these cultural problems are. Right now im trying to just learn more, and reading a lot. Do you have any book recommendations?
A really good article that helps me tease this out is Celeste Davisās https://open.substack.com/pub/celestemdavis/p/hard-to-be-a-man?r=6vgkuh&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web&showWelcomeOnShare=false - I also just wrote one on the repressed feminine and patriarchyās role in it.
Aw man, Iām so sorry to hear you had that experience. I think patriarchy can be enforced by any and all genders who havenāt done the deconstruction work yet, and I find it so upsetting when people actively attempt to shame or silence men who are trying to break out of that cycle and quite literally just be themselves. In terms of recommendations, I think āThe Will to Changeā by bell hooks is a great read. She specifically discusses the ways in which men suffer under patriarchy, and potential pathways towards freedom from that. You might vibe with it :)
ā¤ļøš
I felt bile burn my stomach here: āWhatever scares you, whatever gives you pause, whatever drums up that feeling of oh-shit-no-wait-I-canāt-actually-do-this inside of you is the key to your liberationāit helps you push back against the insecurities the Void has instilled in us since we were children.ā
I took up a task today, to explore a new art form, something complicated. The second I started I heard the exact sentence āoh-shit-no-wait-I-canāt-actually-do-thisā. Thank you for pulling me back to me. This task is exactly what I need to be doing. Bless you, bless you.
Oh goodness, this moved me so deeply. Thank you for sharing this with me, and for reading. I am so happy to hear that it offered you something you were able to take with you š„¹ā„ļø
This was so inspiring. I felt the power bubbling beneath your words. Thanks for this! I needed it!
You are tremendously welcome! Thank you for taking the time to read.
As a trans femme who has been feeling much of the pain you describe and struggling to make sense of the daily existential fight to exist, thank you. This was really helpful and your principles eloquently articulate much of what I've been struggling to express.
Iām so very happy to hear that. Thank you for reading, and Iām glad it gave you an anchor of sorts šš½ā„ļø
Such an amazing read
I appreciate you š
"So, without my consent, Iāve also been tasked with taking up the mantle of an exorcist. Regularly, the worldās shadow finds its way to me when Iām not looking, demanding release or alchemy."
... ma'am this had me in a choke --- hold --- period. Thank you. Instant subscribe.
Ahh, it warms my spirit to hear that. Thank you for reading š„¹šš½
This is really beautiful, Bri. Thanks for sharing it. I would be curious what your take on the repressed feminine would be, I just wrote a piece on it here: https://open.substack.com/pub/thresholdkeepers/p/what-a-descent-journey-to-the-repressed?r=6vgkuh&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web&showWelcomeOnShare=true
Basically my idea is that a descent Journey into the repressed feminine is can be a remedy (there are many paths to healing! I love the ones you put here) - integrating the cast-out, oppressed-and-then-repressed aspects of our feminine selves. Curious your thoughts.
Ooh, thank you for sharing this! Iāll give it a read šš½
Hi Bri. You already know this book. Just sharing.